Miss Meliss

I’m currently reading, Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. It has been a long time since I’ve found a book I’ve really enjoyed. Actually, I should say, a book that I’ve let myself enjoy. The past year I’ve attempted started reading books, but never really got into them. For some reason, this book has caught my attention and isn’t letting go anytime soon. Maybe it’s fitting for this time in my life or maybe I’m just enthralled by the independence and adventure that Elizabeth strives for.

I wanted to share this passage with you:

I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my dog’s time – everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.

I do not relay these facts about myself with pride, but this is how it’s always been.

The reason I point this out is because I feel like a lot of people live this way. At times we can get so invested in relationships and focused on giving the other person our everything, that we lose who we are. It’s not a healthy thing to do, but it happens. When you truly love someone, you want to make them happy by any means, including all the things Elizabeth listed above. I think it’s important to give that never-ending-unconditional-sure-you-can-have-the-last-piece love to whomever you choose to give it to, under one condition: it does not take away from who you are.

If you give away yourself – what are you left with?

Have you seen the Chevy Traverse commercial with the kids running to the car in the rain? Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen this commercial dozens of times and the song always gets stuck in my head. Take a minute and listen to this song. Hopefully, it will brighten your day with this rainy weather we’re having.

“It’s raining, it’s pouring. But I ain’t complaining because I love the rain.”

I’m not a very poetic person most times, so I’m just going to say what I think here. Sometimes things suck, that’s life. You have to make the best of it. If you sit around and feel sorry for yourself, you’re never going to get anywhere. You have to take risks and advantage of opportunities when they are presented to you, but don’t just sit around waiting for something either. Go out and do something with your life. Be confident about it. You might fail, but you never know what could happen. A long time ago, one of my good friends advised me to always give 100% of my effort without question. If you fail, at least you have the satisfaction knowing you tried. It’s kind of what I live by now. It might sound kind of cheesy, but it works for some people.

All that from a Chevy commercial?

Do you ever wonder why you are the way you are? Why do you react to situations in certain ways? What makes you happy? What makes you tick? Everybody is different, obviously. We get that way from the way we are raised, where we grew up, our family, friends etc…but to me that doesn’t explain it enough. I had a relatively similar experience to both of my brothers growing up, but we are nowhere near the same.

So, we all ended up at U of I (different majors), we all still live in Chicago, we love our technology, we share the same type of humor, and we have other insignificant things in common. I would argue that my oldest brother is the most generous, intelligent, and mature out of the 3 of us. My middle brother maintains these qualities, but he is more creative and adventurous with his lifestyle. How did one brother become an accountant and one an artist? We are so similar, but different at the same time. I’m always looking for the reasons why things are a certain way, but some things will always be left unanswered…

Do you think you truly understand yourself? Do you think it’s possible to be happy until you do? Part of growing up and maturing is finding answers to these questions and figuring out who you are. It might take some people more time than others, but ultimately, if you try hard enough, you’ll get there.